I’m quitting blogging. And that’s okay.

Well, perhaps quitting is the wrong word to use. For one, I can’t bring myself to delete this blog no matter how hard I try, which means I have something holding me back. Maybe it’s the years of hard work I’ve put into it, or maybe it’s my unconscious’s way of telling me that I’m not really done just yet. Who knows.

But as of right now, I’m leaving this community, and it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now but I couldn’t give myself that push I needed. We’ve always been instructed to not be quitters, to keep pushing on, because quitters are losers. Well, tough luck, unsolicited-advice-givers. Sometimes, it’s okay to put your health, and your passions before the inane ideals of carrying on no matter how unsatisfying carrying on may feel.

There are several reasons why I’ve decided to quit.

  1. Reading is no longer fun for me. I’ve been a reader my entire life, and it’s one of the only things that brings me joy when everything else in my life is falling apart. But lately I’ve found that I’ve been reading… wrong. I pick up a book, and as I read it, I’m thinking about what I could include in my review, what I could talk about while I’m posting said review on Goodreads and my blog. And that’s a terrible feeling. I shouldn’t be reading to review. I should be reading because I love to read, and I like what I’m reading – reviewing should come after. I’m quitting to get that drive, that love of reading back. That’s the main reason.
  2. Blogging is hard, man. I like to pretend like it’s a side hobby that I can put out of my mind whenever I want to, but that’s not how it works. Like it or not, I get pre-occupied with statistics, and the number of comments, and the number of visitors. And when I’m in school, and have other things to do, I simply can’t keep up with the blog like I want to, and the shift in stats affects me. It really shouldn’t, but it does. And I can’t deal with that stress anymore.
  3. The community (especially on Twitter) has let me down so many times, and I don’t want to get into it, but I’d be lying if I said that it’s not part of the reason why I decided to quit. I feel like my voice doesn’t matter in the face of more popular people who have friends in all the right places. And that’s a tragedy in and of itself, lol, because I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels this way. But the hypocrisy from my own ‘friends,’ the silence, the lack of support when speak up about something that matters? It gets to me, and I’m just… done with it.

I am so thankful to all my followers for listening to what I had/have to say and pushed me to continue for as long as I did. I am appreciative of all the friends I’ve made, all the people I have met and spoken to these past couple of years as I’ve blogged. I’m thankful for the opportunity to see the world of reading and publishing in a more in-depth way, and I’m grateful for every opportunity I’ve gotten as a blogger. And who knows? Maybe once I’ve gotten my love of reading back, and when I can give my blog the time and commitment I need to, I might return.

And I’m not *really* going anywhere. My blog will be up, and maybe once in a while when I have something I really want to say, I can post. This isn’t goodbye in the strict sense of the word- just, several step backs while I figure out what’s up.

If you’d like to stay in touch, you can follow me on Instagram, and add me on Goodreads so you can keep up with what I’m reading. I’ll also be starting a Sensitivity Reading Service now that I have a bit more spare time on my hands. You can also use the contact form to contact me with any questions, any recommendations you might want, or just to say a quick hi. 💖

Once again, thank you. Until next time.

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Comments

  1. Omg I feel like Ive been absent lately but your blog was ALWAYS the blog I was looking forward to cauz your content and the quality of the blog 🙁 I have a tear just writing this and I hope you find peace after this! I’ll def would want to keep you around!! Do you have a facebook where we can keep contact and talk about books?;)

    With love,

    Trang (from bookidote)
    Ive logged in with my facebook you can feel free to add me!!🌷

  2. Hi Aimal!

    It’s been a while since I’ve logged onto WP (this is the first time this month actually), but I’m really glad I stumbled upon this post. Ever since this year started I’ve been writing my inactivity in the blogosphere off as slumps or busyness due to school/work, but I think I just don’t enjoy blogging as much as well. The community isn’t the same as the one I started out with. Only a handful of bloggers that I follow that still blog were part of the original 2015 team. As for reading, I can’t make time for this hobby anymore and the pressure of ARCs and reviewing them just takes the joy out of reading for me these days.

    Anyway, how interesting is it that we both started blogging around the same time and now going through very similar stages? But you’re right, I think recognizing what we need to do, even if it means quitting a hobby, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, I just wanted to pop in to say that I support your decision 110%.

    Love,
    Summer

    P.S. I’m sure you could tell but Twitter has never been a platform that I’ve been fond of or have gotten into. I’m sorry to hear that there are people that have let you down in that community and this one. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. Lately, I’m also been more active on Instagram so that’s the easiest place to keep in touch with me. :’)

  3. Hey, I’m sorry that you’ve lost your love of reading because of your blog. That must really suck. For me, reading is daily stress relief and soothing medication, and I know if I lost that, I’d feel really glum. I’ve been following your blog for years and have really enjoyed reading your reviews – often my own opinion of a book becomes based on the one you post, though I know it shouldn’t. I should have left more reviews. I hope that you’ll have more time to do what you love now. Thanks for putting so much time and effort into Bookshelves & Paperbacks. 🙂

  4. Man, I can relate to everything you’ve said. I think the community and it’s ridiculous double-standards as of late is something that’s made it very difficult for me to blog as well, hell it’s even been a contributor to my Depression. I’m also in the same boat in regards to reviewing sucking the fun out of reading. I’ve found myself doing the same things and I hate it because reading is/was/hopefully will be again an escape for me and a way to travel to so many awesome imaginative places. I think you’re an amazing person, Aimal. You’re so strong and independent and intelligent. It’s okay if you don’t wanna blog anymore. I’ll always support you on other platforms and I sincerely hope that you find your love of reading again. ♥ Always wishing you the best in everything that you do, my friend.

  5. Aimal, I’m really sad to see this post. I know I haven’t been all that active with the comments, but I was reading your posts through Bloglovin. I’m sorry you feel this way, but if quitting will make you feel happier, then I totally support the decision. I saw some of the things that occurred regarding your very thoughtful and eloquent review for that one book, and sadly, I was not surprised. I think this community has a lot of progress to make, and I feel like not every marginalized person in on equal ground.Certain’s people’s opinions are more valued than others, and brown/desi Asians rank at the bottom. Anyways, I’m going to stop whining now. I hope you’re successful in everything that you do, Aimal. Take care and much love to you.

  6. I’m really sad to see you go, but I can understand why. My biggest fear is losing my passion for reading. it’s why I don’t put as much pressure to read all the time now. I’ll read when I want to and review them in my own time. I try to detach myself from the blog as much as I can when I’m in the middle of reading. I’ve never been the most active on twitter, I’m more of a browser than anything, but I definitely have seen the toxicity on there. I hope you rediscover your love for reading. We’ll definitely miss your presence here. All the best. <3

  7. I think I said something similar on Twitter when you announced this, but I’ll always be here for you no matter what you decide to do. If you need to quit because you feel like you aren’t enjoying yourself (whether it be actually reading or whatever it might be) then don’t hesitate to do so. I just hope this will be better for you 😀 <3

  8. Ahh this is very understandable. I seriously considered quitting a few weeks ago for very similar reasons. Blogging takes a lot of effort and I felt like I was getting very little back. I joined the community to talk about books and I feel like unless you’re one of a select few popular bloggers (who let’s be honest are all pretty similar in the tone they use for their blog posts) or unless you’re in the booktube community you don’t get many people commenting on your posts and continuing the conversation.

  9. Just like I said on Twitter a littel while ago, I’m really sad to see you go. You were, for me, one of the brightest stars in the blogging community and you’ve brought me so much, from book recommendations to just overall, sort of one ofmy blogging role models to look up to. It’s so important, though, not to let blogging consume you, let it stay a hobby, let all the books you read be FUN before reviewing reads, let the blog be a fun place before being a place filled with numbers and statistics.Ill still be ollowing you, on here as much as on Twitter, and hope to hear from you once in a while. We’ll miss you for sure. <3 <3

  10. I’m sad to see you go, but I 100% get it! I’ve kind of been feeling like this lately and it’s made me want to read less. I hope you’re able to gain your love of reading back! I’ll have to try to be on Twitter more because your music recommendations are always so wonderful!

    • I hope the love for reading comes back too, and I must admit that ever since I’ve stopped reviewing, I’ve already been getting more immersed in the books I read. It’s a good feeling to have back. And hehe, thank you! 🙂 If you ever need another playlist, lemme know

  11. I’m holding onto the fact that your keeping your blog so you can always come back if you ever want to <3 It's not truly goodbye!
    I'm sorry you feel let down by the community especially when 'friends' weren't supportive. I've felt scared to speak up in the community before or scared nobody will support me. Sending positive thoughts and hugs and I'll still be following you on other social media of course, especially Twitter to see what's happening in your life and to keep up on the latest Zayn news and then I can download the new songs straight away!

    I hope you get into a better place with reading and it becomes fun again for you, if you ever want to blog about anything other than reading I would for sure read anything you post! <3

    • Definitely not truly goodbye, I don’t think I’m quite ready to completely stop yet. I think I’m too big of a reader/writer to fully stop wanting to share my thoughts haha! And yay, I’m so glad that you enjoy my Twitter feed even though it’s completely different from how it was when I started out. Thank you for your support, it means the world to me. <3

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