Well, perhaps quitting is the wrong word to use. For one, I can’t bring myself to delete this blog no matter how hard I try, which means I have something holding me back. Maybe it’s the years of hard work I’ve put into it, or maybe it’s my unconscious’s way of telling me that I’m not really done just yet. Who knows.
But as of right now, I’m leaving this community, and it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now but I couldn’t give myself that push I needed. We’ve always been instructed to not be quitters, to keep pushing on, because quitters are losers. Well, tough luck, unsolicited-advice-givers. Sometimes, it’s okay to put your health, and your passions before the inane ideals of carrying on no matter how unsatisfying carrying on may feel.
There are several reasons why I’ve decided to quit.
- Reading is no longer fun for me. I’ve been a reader my entire life, and it’s one of the only things that brings me joy when everything else in my life is falling apart. But lately I’ve found that I’ve been reading… wrong. I pick up a book, and as I read it, I’m thinking about what I could include in my review, what I could talk about while I’m posting said review on Goodreads and my blog. And that’s a terrible feeling. I shouldn’t be reading to review. I should be reading because I love to read, and I like what I’m reading – reviewing should come after. I’m quitting to get that drive, that love of reading back. That’s the main reason.
- Blogging is hard, man. I like to pretend like it’s a side hobby that I can put out of my mind whenever I want to, but that’s not how it works. Like it or not, I get pre-occupied with statistics, and the number of comments, and the number of visitors. And when I’m in school, and have other things to do, I simply can’t keep up with the blog like I want to, and the shift in stats affects me. It really shouldn’t, but it does. And I can’t deal with that stress anymore.
- The community (especially on Twitter) has let me down so many times, and I don’t want to get into it, but I’d be lying if I said that it’s not part of the reason why I decided to quit. I feel like my voice doesn’t matter in the face of more popular people who have friends in all the right places. And that’s a tragedy in and of itself, lol, because I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels this way. But the hypocrisy from my own ‘friends,’ the silence, the lack of support when I speak up about something that matters? It gets to me, and I’m just… done with it.
I am so thankful to all my followers for listening to what I had/have to say and pushed me to continue for as long as I did. I am appreciative of all the friends I’ve made, all the people I have met and spoken to these past couple of years as I’ve blogged. I’m thankful for the opportunity to see the world of reading and publishing in a more in-depth way, and I’m grateful for every opportunity I’ve gotten as a blogger. And who knows? Maybe once I’ve gotten my love of reading back, and when I can give my blog the time and commitment I need to, I might return.
And I’m not *really* going anywhere. My blog will be up, and maybe once in a while when I have something I really want to say, I can post. This isn’t goodbye in the strict sense of the word- just, several step backs while I figure out what’s up.
If you’d like to stay in touch, you can follow me on Instagram, and add me on Goodreads so you can keep up with what I’m reading. I’ll also be starting a Sensitivity Reading Service now that I have a bit more spare time on my hands. You can also use the contact form to contact me with any questions, any recommendations you might want, or just to say a quick hi. 💖
Once again, thank you. Until next time.